Sir and Madame

Formal dining has always excited me. There is something about the atmosphere of an upper class restaurant or a formal banquet that just makes me feel all giddy inside. Whether its having to dress up and seeing everyone look their finest, or the [usually] exquisite caliber of food that is served, formal events get my heart pumping.

One of the most interesting parts about formal dining to me is the increased awareness of etiquette. I can tell you that when I am dining with close friends and were just out grabbing a bite to eat, my etiquette may be a little relaxed and "sloppy" at some times. But at a formal event I notice, not only of myself, but others around me a more eloquent demeanor. It is as if a second more reserved and classy side reveals itself.

Now I don't mean to say that the standard person has a messier self and a more controlled self, as if they are two separate beings. What I mean is that we are just more aware of what and how we eat, and our manners and etiquette compared to those around us. I can easily atone to this, and not just with formal dining (hereto seen as a meal involving a ceremony of some sort and requiring formal attire outside of normal clothes [above that of a standard button-down, or polo attire for men, and a nice skirt and blouse or cocktail dress for women]), but with important meals, say a first date, meeting with people in a group (a business meal or project group), anything that is outside of normal eating.

I have seen in myself especially that: I sit more upright and with better posture, I watch where the position of my hands are (so I am not sprawled out over the table) and I pay more attention to napkin placement as well. I also am more in tune with proper utensil use and the dining etiquette of when to eat. I find myself chewing more fully as well as using my napkin to clean or cover my mouth a lot more than I would if I was simply eating a family dinner. No this doesn't mean that I talk in a British accent, tell corny jokes and enjoy a good pipe and some brandy after the meal, it just means I am more with held in actions that could be considered rude or in-appropriate by some at higher levels of society.

As I write this I have also had a revelation. When recalling the different weddings I have been at; from close family and friends, to friends of friends, I recall different "levels" of this awareness to etiquette. I had more "fun" and relaxed manners at weddings where I knew more people and was closer to the wedding party than weddings where my family was invited and we knew friends and family of the party, but were not very close to the party itself. At events where I knew the party very well, it was very much more of a celebration and a relaxed family dinner where we all were relaxed. However the same is true in the opposite manner. At a wedding where we knew the family well, but the actual married couple not so much, I was much more forthright in following the dining rules, I was a lot more reserved so to say.

I also enjoy formal events for the food. I enjoy being served and entertaining tastes that I may not usually have the chance to savor. Coming from a working middle-class background, I am partial to family dinners every night and small cook outs on the weekends. Not having a cook prepare eloquent meals, or going out to eat at high class restaurants very often. One of the finest wedding meals I can recall (albeit one when I was older and more incline to try interesting flavors) started the meal out with a pumpkin and crab soup. It was more of chowder now that I think of it, no matter though, it was still incredibly delicious. Formal events are usually the one time I eat a "real" salad consisting of mainly lettuce, and then other vegetables and additional items. I usually eat it because it is the thing to do, I don't want to break from the norm (like they say in Wedding Crashers "Rule #6- Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws negative attention. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms."). Besides salads, and soups, there is usually a plethora of other appetizers, all usually scrumptious from mini-quiche (oh the heaven of a warm spinach quiche) and crab cakes (need I say more?!), to scallops wrapped in bacon (never mind the calories, these are my favorite). Once the entree has arrived the real feasting begins. I like how the main course is prepared, usually in some sort of special flavor. Either that or it is a very expensive cut or preparation of meat. In that respect I enjoy savoring the tastes that are provided to me. Especially the interesting mixes that vegetables can be put into.

What would any discussion on formal foods be without dessert, especially wedding cake! I love desserts, and usually have a hard enough time waiting for all the ladies to be served, so I can get mine [ladies are always served before gentleman at formal events, "respek"]. But once I do, I usually enjoy it the most. Wedding cakes are not only great tasting, but are a source of great memories. I love the traditions involved in cutting the cake and feeding of each other, for the bride and the groom that is. It is definitely some of the finer points of the ceremony that the couple will remember years on. Dessert also is fun to remember because it is the culmination of the events fine dining, yes there is small cookies and coffee afterwards (usually), but it is still nothing compared to main dessert item.


Formal events always entertain and excite me. From the food, to dressing up, to polite manners and holding myself in an "elevated" status for a few hours, I enjoy the break from the norm they entail. The fine dining and wonderful memories that are had at these events are usually ones that can be remembered and looked back upon with great joy. Weddings and special events are times in our lives that everyone enjoys. I can only think of fond memories, and look forward to creating many more in my life time. So, to all of you out there, raise your glass and lets give a toast to formal events! Here, Here! [and there was much rejoicing]