German Food. Es ist Zeit Partei!

Okay, so we all have a little European in us, seeing as we’re all descended from Europeans, and I definitely see the benefit of all of us taking a little time to educate ourselves on… that’s right: German cuisine.
I know a lot of you have German ancestry, or have some crazy uncle in your family that likes to play polka, so I dare you to tell me you don’t want to hear about this.

Germans love food. Fact number eins.

Breakfast in the Fatherland is usually just a simple meal of bread, toast, or rolls (Brötchen or Schrippe) with various jams (Marmelade or Konfitüre), marmalade or honey. Usually accompanying the meal in beverage form is strong coffee or tea for adults, and milk, cocoa, or juice for the little ones. Other sustenance comes in the form of eggs, ham, salami, and other meat-based spreads, such as Leberwurst or liver-sausage. Oh, and the Germans love them some Wheaties, with cornflakes often taking a prominent spot on the table.

Now lunch is a little different. At least traditionally it is. Lunch (Mittagessen) is the main meal of the day for Germans. They like to have their feast around noon, making their dinner (Abdendessen or Abendbrot) always a smaller meal. However, in the last 50 years, Germany has done the same as the rest of the world and changed to a dinner-centric dining lifestyle. Lunch is a working meal to get through the middle part of the day and get home to little Axel and Gretel. Still, in the rural parts of Germany, the people there have their main meal for lunch, keeping the work-centric life in favor of modernizing their eating habits and worklife. And while dinner traditionally is like breakfast with the whole meat/bread/cheese thing going on, lunch could be anything from trout (the most common German freshwater fish) to vegetable stew. But it’s probably not. It’s probably meat.

Germans love cooked meat. Fact number zwei. They especially love pork. Germans citizens consume up to 67 pounds of meat per year. And that’s just for one of them, not the whole family. Germans also love beef and poultry, and don’t forget the pork. They love pork. The only thing they love more than the pig itself is when it is pot-roasted. Pot-roasting is the most common way to cook meat in Germany, as evident to any person who has ever eaten at a truly German restaurant. They love to cook their meat just short of forever making for some seriously messy fork-only dishes.

Germans are widely known for their beer making skills, fact number drei, but did you know they make a killer lemonade-ale? That’s right, Germans have gone so far with beer that they’ve taken steps back just to amuse themselves with the brew. Not only do they have countless varieties of the stuff, they like to mix it with lemonade to make a Alsterwasser, with cola to make a Diesel or Colabier (sound it out… get it?). Germans also enjoy domestic wines from their areas along the upper and middle Rhine because the northern part of the country is too cold for grapes to grow. The wines often turn out sweet and do not make it to most international markets. However, sweet wines of the world have their pinnacle in Germany best exemplified by the winter-time beverage Gluhwein. This is a sweet wine that is mixed with various seasonal spices and then heated and served as a hot beverage such as a coffee or cocoa. The experience of drinking one of these beverages is unforgettable as the heat cuts through the alcohol and the spices add to the sweetness of the wine. It also makes for a swift knock to the head if you’ve been celebrating winter for a little too long…

I can’t pin down my favorite German meal, but bratwurst and knockwurst and other sausages are something that no one but the Germans, and German-descended Wisconsinites, can ever pull off. And as if they weren’t good enough as they were, somewhere along the line someone decided to add grilled onions and huge, soft buns to the mix creating what may be one of the world’s most perfect foods. My favorite German drink, though I can’t say I’ve had a Colabier, is Gluhwine in the winter and beer every other day of the year.

Get out there and order yourself up some pork from a German restaurant, or hell, go to Germany! You won’t go hungry, I promise you that.